Blog- How To's

Anyone who has ever lost a loved one knows how tough it is to be mindful of different aspects of the funeral. It is completely understandable if making a proper funeral invitation seems to be an arduous task at that point in time. Our brief guide will guide you on how to make a funeral invitation-the norms and conventions-and what you should keep in mind.

Do what makes you comfortable
Sometimes verbally talking about the loss of a loved one can be very tough. Informing everyone in person and discussing the same painful emotions multiple times can become emotionally draining. If you are someone who does not feel comfortable speaking about a personal loss, make use of the written word. Your options range from a handwritten note to a printed card to a digital invitation to an email. Use whichever mode makes the task the most comfortable for you.

If you are someone who would feel better with having a heart-to-heart conversation with someone about your loss, you can personally invite people for the funeral. You can do this in person, but a telephone call would be as good.

Remember your deceased loved one
If you are using an online template for the funeral invitation, design it in a way that does justice to the memories of your loved person. It does not have to be anything intricate, just simple things you know they would have liked. If you have the scope and mental space for giving an insight into their life in the invitation, do that by all means.

Let people know that their company is desired
In difficult times, having supportive people around us is a blessing. Do not word your invitation in any way that could convey a sense of haste or unwelcome. Remember that some invitees themselves are deeply affected by the loss. Be mindful of what you write while listing the details of the funeral so as to not give inappropriate sentiments.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Attending funerals and memorial services can be difficult for most of us. We find ourselves at a loss for words. Even the extroverts among us are left searching for the correct words. But silence can be equally damaging. Our silence can be misconstrued as our indifference. It is necessary to talk but maintain a low volume and polite tone at all times. As for what to say, we give you some sentences that can help you start a conversation.

" I am so sorry for your loss."

Say these words truthfully and with empathy. This short sentence will make you part of their grief. This sentence has the capacity to reducing the isolating feeling of family and friends.

"I feel fortunate to have known him/her."

If you had known the deceased person you can share your experiences with them. But know where to stop. Keep it short. You are not obliged to keep on talking on occasions such as these. Thoughtful silences are better than hurtful words.

"Let me know how I can help."

Say these words and follow them up with action. Remember that grieving people may find it tough to ask for help. Offer to arrange for a meal or pick up groceries. You can take the dog for a walk or offer to babysit the children in the family.

"You can call me anytime."

Very often loneliness kicks in after all the funeral formalities are over. It takes people some time to come to terms with their loss. It is here that a phone call or a visit helps. Your phone call can be comforting for the grieving person. It can also encourage them to call you back when they feel lonely.

"I keep thinking about you."

This can make them feel wanted. This will accelerate their healing process.

Sometimes the grieving person may not remember what you said, but they will remember your thoughtfulness.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

The passing on of a loved one is perhaps the most painful time of anyone’s life. While accepting their death and talking about it to a trusted person is the first step of grieving, another thing that might help is leaving behind your loved one’s legacy.

You can do this by capturing their memory on a monument. But what should you write on it? What is it that must be engraved on the monument forever? What is it that people should read and remember them by? Here are a few things you can think about that may help you decide:

• What is it about them that you loved the most?
• What did they do that made a difference to the lives of the people they touched?
• What was the fondest memory of their life that they shared with you?
• What was it that made them happiest?
• Whom did they love the most? For example, their kids, husband/wife, parents.
• How did they wish to be remembered? (this could be your biggest pointer)
• What was your fondest memory with them?
• What did they love doing the most? For example, painting, reading, pottery.

Thinking about these questions might bring back a flood of memories, and it would take some time to process and work through all of them. But when you do, you might just know what it is that the world will remember your loved one by. In the process, you might also be able to appreciate the life they lived and come a step closer to accept their passing on.You may even choose to engrave  a picture or install a porcelain  portrait along with text, especially if you want their legacy to be more visual and creative.

We can most definitely assist in this need you might have. Also look at the "Products"  section on this website to get an idea of monuments we have done for customers in the past.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Selecting the right funeral venue means that you can give a proper send-off to your loved ones and cater to any special needs that they had desired. However, not all funeral homes will work for you. If you are in the midst of organizing a funeral for someone or making advanced arrangements for yourself, there are a few things that will help you find the right funeral venue.

1. Decide on a budget

The first step to take is to decide on the amount you want to spend on the funeral. Make sure that you know what you can afford so that you don’t have to scramble for money after accepting the price.

2. Prioritize 

Not every funeral home will satisfy all your requirements. That is why you need to prioritize what is important. The most important factors have to be location and price, followed by cultural or religious requirements, parking, handicap accessibility, etc.

3. Select the arrangement you want

Depending on what has been decided before the person died, the choices can help determine the best funeral home that is reasonably priced. The common options are donating the body for research, direct or traditional burial, and cremation.

4. Make a list

You can look online to find funeral home listings. Call some of them that you like and get their prices. Ask them about urn and casket prices as well. If the funeral director is being uncooperative, take him out of the list. If you want a more affordable option, look for venues that are beyond your immediate area or eliminate expenses like visitation or embalming.

5. Narrow down your choice

Research further and visit the funeral home for narrowing down your choices. Write down all the questions you have and bring a family member or a friend who is less emotionally invested than you are. 

Death of a loved one can be tough and planning a funeral can be emotionally exhausting. Make sure that you have the right people with you to help you go through this tough time and help plan the perfect funeral for your loved one.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Someone close to you has lost someone near to them, so to show your friend or relative that you care you plan to send flowers to express your condolence. You, however, have several questions in mind regarding the flowers. Is it inappropriate in your friend or relative’s religion to even send flowers? What if you end up unintentionally offending the recipient? How does one choose the best floral arrangement?

Consider the meaning behind colors and types of flowers

If you want to avoid offending the family, avoid green flowers since green is a sign of health and money – unbefitting for the event. White flowers are the safest choice in such a circumstance. Attending a Buddhist funeral? Steer clear of red flowers because as per their traditions, the color red is for happy events. In the Jewish, Islamic, and Hindu faiths, it is considered ill-mannered to arrive at the funeral with flowers or gifts.

How to choose the best flower arrangement

Knowing what to say by choosing the best floral arrangement for the family of the deceased is also a skill that you can hone. Wreaths, flower baskets, crosses, hearts, and standing sprays are all appropriate choices for comforting a family and honoring the memory of the deceased loved one in most circumstances.

When it comes to flower options, lilies are the go-to choice for wakes and funerals since the color white is generally associated with death. Orchids are another popular choice as sympathy flowers; you can either opt for phalaenopsis and dendrobium orchids. Then there is a range of flowers such as freesia, gerbera, hydrangea, tulips, sunflowers, and roses you can choose.

Make sure that the florist has included a card message so that the family knows you sent the flowers. Something simple like “My heart goes out to you in your time of sorrow” will speak volumes of your emotion.   

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Death is an experience, universal in nature. Writing about someone you love may prove cathartic, but to some, it’s plain hard. A theme that pulls at the very deepest and exposed of human feelings, no words can do justice to a lost life, but some come very close.

Words that Heal

Poetry is a tool that helps process loss, extremely effective in coping during grief and mourning. Not only does an ode to a lost soul act as an avenue of self-expression, it also renders a fitting memorial. While you may be busy with chores and such, taking time to write helps heal. Through the written word, a lot of the pain, suffering and loss transfers to what you write. The tips that follow should aid in your quest to write an ode to a lost loved one.

Tip #1 - Take Time                             

Death is a heavy subject, requiring language that puts you in a vulnerable position. You may not be ready to approach such a sensitive spiritual wound that is still fresh. Taking time to be ready is of the utmost importance. Before you organize your own thoughts, it’s better to take a while, getting mundane things out of the way, if necessary.

Tip #2 - Lay Bare Feelings

A death may cause us to move residence, and moving to a suburb from a town may be something that's required. Physical issues surrounding death can be resolved, but mental readiness must exist to pen feelings. It’s important not to hold anything back, without fear of letting go and seeing your feelings on paper. Memories may be good and bad, but may need to be written.

Tip #3 - Think of Purpose

Think of the poem's purpose, what you are trying to achieve or express. Are you writing an anecdote about your lost love, or is this your final adieu? Maybe you want to say something particular to the person deceased.

Be Calm and Share

Its important to remain composed, so you put down thoughts constructively on paper. If you feel anxious or remorseful, you can stop and continue later. Sharing your poetry with close loved ones who may have been close to the deceased, is a good idea to get over pain.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Typically, anyone would expect a body at a funeral - not to make light of an unfortunate event - a dead body  should be present. You'd be surprised at how many funerals are conducted without a body. How, you may ask, is this even possible? The answer involves the intentions of the people holding the funeral - family and friends of the deceased. In the present day, the trend is for families to hold very exclusive and private burials, with the body buried. A separate funeral service, held for extended friends and family/associates of the deceased is common.

Different Circumstances

In organizing a funeral, a lot of consideration is given to details, such as moving the body, casket, etc. Typically, a funeral home will offer these ancillary services to the deceased's family. Nonetheless, in some cases, movement of special products, like vases, and personalized caskets travel to the funeral home. In some cases, like disappearances, car accidents, natural calamities, and other situations of unexpected loss, funerals take place without a body. These are more like memorial services. In case of a cremation, a burial service isn't always needed, and a memorial service suffices. This may be non-traditional, in the form of those close to the deceased reminiscing about the past.

A Funeral Without a Body

Handled akin to a memorial service, a funeral without a body can be at a public hall, or a room at a funeral home. According to the faith of the deceased, a chapel or a residence could be good options. These services may include photograph displays or videos of the honored deceased. Usually, families and friends portray photo montages, timeline displays and captions of the deceased. A special table with a collection of the deceased's preferred possessions may be exhibited.

Memorials can be held at a favorite place of the deceased. Additionally, you may want to include a list of the deceased's achievements and put those on display. Whatever the case may be, the funeral service should be deserving of the memory of the person passed away.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Wooden burial caskets have been in use since time immemorial. However, in recent times, alternative materials have emerged as casket materials that are offering stiff competition to their wooden competitors.  Each material has certain pros and cons. In this post, we’ll take a closer look at the positives and negatives of wooden burial caskets.

The Pros

• Variety in design terms: There's a wide range of wooden burial caskets that buyers can choose from. From a design perspective, wooden caskets can be either simple or complex in their appearance. The color tones are varied as well, as various types of hardwoods are used to create these caskets.
• Available as both ready-made and custom products: If a burial needs to be conducted quickly, buyers can pick from a variety of ready-made wooden caskets. But if you have time, feel free to buy a custom casket that will be tailored to the specifications and requirements you provide to the casket makers.
• Affordability: Wooden caskets, when compared with caskets made from other materials, are very cheap. However, the fact that they’re affordable doesn’t mean that they look bad. If you’re on a strict budget, you’d be best off purchasing a wooden casket as it will look good and cost you less at the same time.

The Cons

•  Lack of durability: The major disadvantage of wooden burial caskets is that they’re not durable. After the burial, a wooden casket will last for a few years before it starts to go bad. If you want more in terms of durability, you should go with a metal casket. However, metal caskets would also require you to spend more money.
• Environmental concerns: The wood in the wooden caskets is ultimately derived through the cutting and felling of trees, which can cause environmental damage if the trees cut down aren't replaced by planting new ones.

So, now that you know the pros and cons of wooden burial caskets, we hope you can make an informed choice whenever you have to purchase a casket.

Thanks for reading,

Teresa

A funeral home refers to the physical location where funeral or burial services are carried out for the deceased and their families. Most people don't want to think about such services, but it's good to stay prepared because when you're grieving the loss of a loved one, you don't want to have to worry about such things.

Being prepared means getting in touch with funeral homes and deciding on one that can offer you what you need. Here are some questions you should ask before you make your decision about a funeral home:

How much experience do you have?

Checking whether the home is family-owned or part of an independent business and how long they’ve been operating will be able to give you an idea of the experience they have. It’s also important to determine whether the home is a part of professional associations or organizations so that you’re assured of professional standards of operation.   

What are the basic and additional costs?

Get clarity on the costs involved. Basic services will include funeral planning, preparation of notices, securing the permits required, sheltering remains, and more. You will have to get clarity on additional expenses that you need to pay for so that you’re not shocked by the bill at the end of it.

Can the funeral service be customized to my needs?

You will want to choose a funeral home that allows you to customize certain aspects of the service to suit your needs. This could be in terms of obituaries, prayer cards, photos, and more. Some customizations may be allowed without any additional cost, but others may add to your bill. 

What options for payment do I have?

You should check whether the funeral home can coordinate with your insurance company to arrange for financial assistance, especially for the expensive services involved.   

Is the staff available on call 24/7?

Make sure you pick a funeral home that allows you to have 24/7 access to staff and clearly outlines how long it will take for staff to arrive once you've called them.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Many people choose cemeteries as their final resting place. As time passes by, the headstones, which were meant to be the lasting memorials that preserve the past, lose their marking, get worn, discolored, or even broken. But, by cleaning them once a year, it is possible to prevent decay and grime and ensure that your loved one’s headstone remains untarnished and fresh.

In this article, we will be discussing a few tips for gravestone cleaning.

Tools you will need

Here are some basic supplies you must have before heading out to the cemetery:

• Distilled water
• Garden sprayer that has not been used for any chemical
• Firm toothbrush
• Nylon brush or natural bristle brush of different sizes and stiffness
• Craft sticks
• Sponges

Before you start cleaning 

Check the condition of the headstone before attempting to clean it. If any of the following is present, do not proceed:

• Any stability issues
• Fractures on the stone
• Wooden headstone
• Anything suggesting that the headstone is slightly vulnerable or fragile
• Lettering or stone flaking or its parts falling away
• Hollow sound after gentle tapping

If the stone appears to be in decent condition and doesn’t show any of the above-mentioned signs, you can begin cleaning. Please note that the aim of cleaning is only to remove algae, lichens, etc. If you try anything more, you might end up doing more harm than good. 

Cleaning the headstone 

• Use different sizes and kinds of brushes with natural bristles along with water.
• Saturate the gravestone using water. Use a spray bottle to use less water and get a clean rinse.
• Start at the bottom and clean upward as it prevents streaking or additional staining.
• Use softest brushes first and then gradually shift to stiffer brush. Do not use a metal or wire brush.
• Scrape the moss or lichens on the stone using plastic or wooden scrapers.
• Clean the stone by using the brush in random circular motions.
• To help with cleaning, you can use a non-ionic soap. Make sure that you do proper research. If you are unsure, stick with water.
• Rinse the area properly.
• Do not use pressure washers, power tools, household cleaners, abrasive pads, sand blazers, bleach, or acidic cleaning agents for cleaning. 

Remember that if you don’t use the proper cleaning materials and technique, you might end up doing permanent damage to the gravestone.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

If you are reading this, you might have gotten the call-a call that almost everyone gets someday but no one wants-a call that informs you that your friend is no longer with you. And while you are dealing with the grief and processing the loss, the family members ask you to give a eulogy. It is a difficult process that requires you to use your grief to write the perfect goodbye for your friend. If you are in a similar situation and have to write a eulogy from a friend, here are a few tips that will make it slightly easier:

•  Understand what a eulogy is

The first step is to understand that a eulogy is not an obituary. It is lengthy, personal, and conversational. It is often associated with posthumous honor and grief. You are giving the speech to give a tribute to your friend. It should be a celebratory homage that includes proud moments and highlights happy memories.

• Remember the memories

You already know everything that you need to write the eulogy. All you have to do is recall them. Some of those memories will make you cry, while others will make you happy. Select the ones that are closest to your heart. You can even reach out to other friends and talk to family members to get more inspiration.

• Organize the information and start writing

Create a basic outline including introduction, body, and conclusion. Don’t try to make it perfect. Write from your heart while thinking of your friend. Don’t focus too much on the facts. Instead, tell stories that capture your friend’s best qualities.

• Keep it simple, honest, positive, and memorable

Remember that you shouldn’t point out the negative traits of your friend. A eulogy should always be positive. Keep it brief, specific, and thoughtful. You can add a bit of humor, but ensure that it is classy and appropriate for the moment.

Once you have written the eulogy, you should read it out loud and rehearse it a couple of times to ensure that you don’t get overwhelmed. Lastly, pat yourself on the back for writing an emotionally-demanding eulogy for your friend who meant so much to you.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Memorial videos are thoughtful ways to pay tribute to loved ones who have passed on. A memorial video can be meaningful in saying "farewell" to those you love. It’s a video that pays a fond tribute to a special person and illustrates the life of the person, as well as honors the person's memory. Its a perfect way to let people see another side of a person, through the stories the video tells. Importantly, creating a tribute video can be therapeutic in the process of grieving.

The Use of the Video

Primarily, think about how the video will be shared. How the memorial is going to be viewed decides the length of the video and its style. If you are sharing the video during a service, think of the following aspects:

• Photographs and songs (some the person preferred) should be included
• Approximately 80 photographs may be used
• The video length should be around 6-10 minutes

In case your plan is to share the memorial video in the midst of the reception, have a longer video of about 15 minutes without music. It can play in a loop in the background, letting people view it in passing. You can include more photos too.

Choosing the Photographs

While selecting photographs for the bulk of your video, choose ones representing the person, as well as honoring them. Think of these aspects for your tribute:

• Portray the person's interests, hobbies, etc.
• Show the person's personality.
• Illustrate the person's childhood - this will be a new side to the person for viewers.
• Highlight special moments in a person's life, like holidays, births, weddings, birthdays, etc.

Selecting the Tools

Typically, memorial videos are slideshows since they include still photography. If you are creating a memorial video on a Mac, you can easily use iMovie, as this lets you produce your own transitions, titles and effects. Additionally, you can add your own audio clips and songs. Alternatively, create a video using Photos on any other Apple device, even a smartphone. If you're a user of a PC, you can use "Animoto". This is a user-friendly portal that has templates of animations with various backgrounds and effects. Show your photos as a transition from one to the next, possibly in chronological order, keeping each photo lingering for about 2 seconds. Selecting two songs, each of a 3-4-minute duration, works well for the music.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

A basic custom of funeral etiquette is sending acknowledgment cards following funerals. Sending thank-you cards with personal messages to the ones who supported you and offered their condolences is a beautiful gesture. You will be surprised to know how much this basic gesture of offering your gratitude will mean. You can either compile a list of only those who sent you flowers, cards, memorials, or donations, or send them to all your guests.

Add a personal touch

Adding personal touches to the thank-you card will send a sign of thoughtfulness. It can be anything from a personal handwritten message to a thoughtful verse from your favorite poem. If you are not too much into words, you can choose to put in an image along with a sweet and short caption symbolizing your gratitude.

The passing away of a loved one can be difficult. You might not find it particularly engaging to write messages on blank cards. You will find a range of solutions that can help you create customized cards very easily on the internet from which you can choose with a range of templates. In a few simple steps, you can get your customized cards ready.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

What to wear to a funeral can be a tough thing to decide. You wouldn’t want to dress inappropriately and hurt the sentiments of the grieving family. Plus, if you have lost someone close to you or an immediate family member, dressing appropriately for the funeral becomes all the more important. Here are some good funeral attire ideas for 2021.

Formal and decent black outfit

If you don’t wish to stand out of the crowd and only want to pay your respects at the funeral, we recommend dressing up in a formal and decent manner. Men can pick a simple black suit, white shirt and a black tie to wear for the funeral. Women can pick a decent black dress that is not too form-hugging or frilly. If the funeral is in winter, add layers of grey or black-colored coats to keep warm. If the funeral is in summer, go for airy fabrics that wouldn’t make you sweat.

Easy trousers for women

Women wouldn’t always be comfortable in a dress. If you are looking for an alternative, we recommend wearing a trouser in grey, beige or black color along with a black blouse. Wear medium-sized heels along with this outfit or you could even choose to wear flats. If the funeral is in winter, you can swap the black blouse with a black turtleneck and add simple gold earrings to complete your outfit.

Outfits that are not black

Funerals can be a tough place to be at and wearing all-black can be very overwhelming for some people. However, you can choose to wear other colors that are decent and appropriate for a funeral. These colors include dark blue, dark grey, light grey, dark brown or other neutral earthy shades. The idea is to not stand out of the funeral and still be appropriately dressed in a way that doesn’t offend anyone.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Outer burial containers consist of grave liners and burial vaults. These serve to enclose the casket or coffin in a grave. When caskets are buried under the ground, some cemeteries require a burial vault or a grave liner surrounding the casket. An outer burial container suffices to support the soil that is around the casket. This firm support is required to prevent the soil on top of the casket and around it from collapsing. Significantly, this ultimately serves to enhance maintenance in cemeteries, keeping cemetery grounds in great condition.

Important features

Burial vaults are caskets for the main caskets. They encase the main casket completely, from all sides. A grave liner merely acts as a cover for the top and sides of the casket. The bottom of the main casket is in direct contact with the ground. Both burial vaults and grave liners are typically made of concrete and lined with a layer of plastic or metal. Some are available, nowadays, in steel, copper, and bronze. These metal ones are sturdier but may cost more as they assure durability more than concrete does. Concrete may be prone to cracks over a period of time.

Some considerations

Your choice, a grave liner or a burial vault, totally depends on you as an individual or your family that decides on such matters. If cost is a consideration in selecting an outer burial container, then a grave liner will be ideal. Usually, these can be purchased as separate from the main casket (which depends on your selection again) from the funeral home that you are associated with. You may have a limited choice as some funeral homes carry only one or two models.

You may buy these as part of your main casket expense if your main casket manufacturer sells these. Retailers also sell grave liners and burial vaults. If you buy these online, they may incur high shipping costs, as they are heavy and have to be handled with care.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

It’s hard to put into words what losing a loved one means. It’s one of life's most difficult experiences. Whether given as condolence offerings or used for funeral decoration, flowers hold a special place during times of grieving.

Funeral flower arrangements convey messages from the heart, offer comfort, and show support from family and loved ones. They also portray respect for the deceased. Here's a brief guide to help if you are arranging a funeral setting or simply want to offer your sympathy.

Funeral flower arrangements

Funeral flowers can be arranged to give or for display, in baskets, as sprays or bouquets, as well as wreaths. Baskets come in several sizes and styles. Colors are often sober and are usually pastel shades of white, blue, lilac, or yellow. Standing sprays may be displayed on an easel, typically near the casket. Wreaths consist of large bunches of flowers and are more elaborate but look beautiful in a large area. The circular shape of a poignant floral wreath symbolizes eternal life.

Flowers to consider

A wide variety of flowers can be used at funerals, but the only consideration is color. Usually, bright and vibrant colors aren't chosen unless the family has specifically selected these because of a preference. The following flowers make nice flowers for funerals:

• Pure White Lilies - One of the most famous funeral flower choices, lilies represent the deceased soul's restored innocence.
• White Carnations - White is the symbolism of purity, and carnations, long-stemmed, look lovely in standing sprays. Light pink ones symbolize remembrance and are often used with white varieties.
• White and Light Pink Roses - This is a perennial favorite among funeral flowers, and white roses convey reverence and purity. They are often used in wreaths with white lilies and look elegant.
• White and Yellow Gladioli - These tall flowers are revered as they send a message of strength and moral integrity. They also show sincerity and are wonderful as they lie in long baskets, combined with white chrysanthemums.
• Chrysanthemums - Chrysanthemums are exclusively used as funeral flowers in many European countries as they are symbolic of death. In other countries, they are used to honor the departed soul who led a full life.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

When people lose their loved ones, many of them choose to add their names to an existing headstone or monument. Maybe it’s the monument of their spouse, their parents, or any other family member or a close friend.

What you should do

Adding a name to an existing monument is not an easy task, and it is critical that you hire a trained and experienced professional engraver. You may also want to consult the cemetery staff or a funeral director before adding the name. There may be certain guidelines that need to be followed, or the funeral director may be able to point you to the right engraver. Talking to experienced professionals always helps.

Another important part of adding the name to the monument is choosing the inscription. Which words do you want inscribed on the monument? Of course, this must be something meaningful, something that will honor the memory of your loved one and reflect the kind of person they were. Often times, people also add a favorite quote of the deceased. Don’t hesitate to take your time, think carefully, and consult other people.

What you shouldn’t do

You may want to cut corners and hire an amateur engraver because it’s cheaper, but the difference in the quality of work will be very obvious. Adding the name of your loved one to a monument is a way of honoring their memory, and this is something that has no room for mistakes.

Including jokes in monument inscriptions is hardly ever a good idea. It’s always best to take it seriously and move forward in a way that would respectfully and beautifully honor the memory of your loved one.

Finally, don’t proceed with your task unless you have all the proper permissions required from local government or cemetery authorities. A professional engraver can work with these. The last thing you’d want is to have to go through extra trouble while you are in mourning.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Cemeteries are places where the bodies of those who are no longer with us rest. They are a place where people come to pay their respects to their loved ones, to grieve and mourn them and honor their memory. As such, cemeteries are places that require a code of conduct.

When visiting the grave of a loved one in a cemetery, keep these do’s and don’ts in mind:

• Do respect visiting hours

Most cemeteries have visiting hours, usually from around 8 or 9 in the morning till 5 or 7 pm in the evening. Some older cemeteries, especially those adjacent to churches, and are not walled in, may be open to the public at all times. Make sure that you ask about the cemetery’s visiting hours before heading out.

• Don’t walk over graves

Walking over graves, whether it is the grave of your loved one or a stranger you do not know, is extremely disrespectful. A grave is the site where the body of someone who has passed is put to rest and it holds deep meaning for that person’s family and friends.

• Don’t clean or decorate in a way that causes damage

Even if the grave or monument is dirty, don’t clean it in a way that could cause damage. And if there is already some damage, don’t try to fix it yourself if you are not sure how to do so. For example, using chemical cleaning agents may damage the headstone. It’s best to call professionals. Contacting the company who processed and installed the monument is your best bet.

• Do respect the peace of other people in the cemetery

If there are other people in the cemetery who have come there to reflect and/or visit the grave of their loved one, make sure you are respectful of their peace and privacy. Be considerate and allow them to reflect or grieve in peace.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Decorating a gravesite is a great way to honor the memory of one who has passed. It allows you to pay tribute to your loved one in a creative, personalized manner. Besides, knowing that the gravesite of your loved one is beautifully decorated in a way that they would have appreciated gives you comfort and some peace of mind.

If you want to decorate a gravesite, here are a few ideas that can inspire you.

• Use fresh/artificial flowers

Flowers are among the most commonly used gravesite decorations everywhere. You can use either fresh flowers or artificial flowers, depending on availability and also your convenience. While fresh flowers are great, they can get wilted very quickly, and most cemeteries remove them once wilted. With artificial flowers, you don’t have to worry about that, but you will have to compromise on authenticity and replace as needed.

• Decorate according to the season or for a special holiday

A great decoration idea for gravesites is to decorate as per the season or an upcoming special holiday. For example, if it’s summer, you can decorate it with fresh summer flowers such as daisies and sunflowers. If it’s fall and Halloween is coming up, then carved pumpkins and other Halloween-themed decorations should be a good idea. And if it’s Christmas, then using hollies and wreaths and other Christmas decorations are great.

• Use wind chimes, notes or photos for personalized decorations

Personalized decorations of gravesites help you pay tribute to your loved ones who have passed. A great way to set up this kind of decoration is by using wind chimes, notes from you, friends, and family, photos of cherished memories, stuffed toys, etc. These bring the personality of your loved ones to their gravesites and also allows you to ensure that you honor their memory in a meaningful way.

• Place solar lighting on the gravesite

A common tradition developing is placing one or more solar lights on the gravesite or bordering it. There are various reasons for this decoration, according to religious or cultural traditions.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Maintaining a clean and beautiful grave is a way of showing your respect and honoring the memory of your loved ones who have passed away. Besides, visiting their place of resting often to clean, it offers you more opportunity to remember them in a private and personal manner and can perhaps, help you with your grief.

In case you need some help with grave maintenance, here are some tips that you should keep in mind.

• Ensure the headstone is always in perfect condition

The headstone is the most noticeable part of the grave and it is important that it is always in great condition. While you can’t always expect it to be in tiptop shape forever, proper maintenance can increase its lifespan. Since chemical agents can damage the headstone, the best way to clean it is by using water and a brush with soft bristles. You can also simply wipe it with a dry or damp cloth.

If you notice any cracks, chips, or broken parts, call professionals as soon as possible.

• Remove weeds, leaves, and debris

Most cemeteries take care of mowing and general landscape work, but if you want your loved one's grave to look spotless, a little effort on your part can make a huge difference. If there are weeds and leaves growing around the burial plot or debris lying around, remove them without wasting time.

• Decorate the burial plot with beautiful flowers

A great way to immediately brighten up a grave is to decorate it with beautiful, fresh flowers. If your loved one had favorite flowers, you can place these in a vase or simply lay them down on the grave. Another great idea is to decorate the burial plot with a wreath, which you can place on or against the headstone. Of course, artificial flowers and plants last longer, but need to be replaced when worn or faded.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Dementia is extremely common among older people and it exists in varying degrees. Since people with dementia have compromised cognitive abilities, the way you say your final goodbyes to those who are dying may need to be different than usual.

What is dementia?

Contrary to popular belief, dementia is not a single disease. Rather, it is simply a term that is used to refer to a wider range of diseases that affect memory, focus, and other cognitive abilities in old age. One of these diseases, and probably the most popular, is Alzheimer’s Disease.

There is no cure for dementia, and treatments are focused on slowing down the symptoms. When people with dementia die, it is not usually the disease itself that is the cause of the death, but rather the side effects. For instance, people with dementia have weakened immunity and they have difficulty fighting off infections and other diseases, which often leads to the deterioration of their health.

Dementia deathbed etiquette

Families and caretakers often see that the person with dementia gradually slips away, rather than suddenly. Communication, responses, behavior, and health slowly decline over time.

However, this also means that it can be difficult to tell the difference between when they are nearing the end of life, or if their symptoms are simply worsening. As such, it is important to pay attention and be prepared as much as you can.

If someone you love has dementia and they are on their deathbed, they may not be fully aware of what is happening and they may have difficulty identifying you and other family members or friends. It is important that you make them feel at ease and know that it is not impossible for them to die with dignity, even though they may be impaired.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Death is never a pleasant thing to handle, especially when it is the death of your loved one. But death is inevitable; death cannot be planned.  It becomes your responsibility to make all the arrangements to say last goodbyes to a person you loved by doing all that is needed at that time. Choosing a funeral product that would compliment the parted soul and your feelings is essential. Some of the funeral products that you could consider are:

Caskets

The casket is the first thing that comes to mind when we start preparing for the final journey of a recently deceased person. Most caskets are made from wood, but you can also order metal or fiberglass caskets. You can customize them according to your needs and choose color, size, shape, etc. You can also choose the type of interior clothing.

Urns

Urns are needed when you choose cremation to collect ashes. You can either choose from a wide variety of urns present in the funeral shop or order a customized urn. Urns come in different sizes, shapes, and colors. It can be made from wood, metal, or ceramic. You can also choose to embellish them with markings, quotes, pictures, etc.

Burial Vaults

Burial Vaults are containers designed to hold a casket. It prevents the grave from sinking and encloses the casket. Many cemeteries require burial vaults to place the casket in the ground so that the soil remains intact. They are basically made from concrete and lined with metal or plastic.

Grave Markers

Grave markers are essential for any grave to recognize the departed soul. Grave markers come as memorials and monuments. Memorials lie flat on the ground, and monuments are erect on the ground. You should inquire about the rules and regulations of the cemetery before buying a grave marker. Some monument companies will do this for you.

Memorial Items

Memorial items can be made according to your choice since you were the closest to the deceased person. Memorial items range from jewelry, paintings, or any other artworks. Your imagination only limits you in choosing memorial items.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

When someone dies, obtaining a death certificate as soon as possible is a must. But what's a death certificate? 

Put simply, a death certificate is an official government document that acknowledges and confirms the death of a person. It includes the cause, location, date and time, as well as other relevant personal information about the deceased, such as full name, date of birth, social security number, address, marital status, and more. 

Death certificates must be signed by a medical practitioner – which may be a doctor, medical examiner, nurse, coroner, etc. – as well as a licensed burial agent or funeral director. 

Death certificates can be issued to immediate family members such as spouses, parents, children, siblings, legal guardians, and grandchildren. They can also be received by executors or state and federal agencies that require it for official purposes. 

Why do you need a death certificate? 

A death certificate is required to handle the affairs of the deceased. For instance, most agencies and institutions will ask for a copy of a death certificate if you want to shut down an account, file taxes, or collect benefits. 

Usually, only copies of the death certificate are required, but several legal matters may require the original official certificate. For social security, banking, phone companies, and utilities, a copy is usually required. However, for insurance, pensions, property transfers, property claims, military benefits, 401Ks and stocks, future marriages, and businesses, the official death certificate is usually mandatory. 

Where can you get death certificates from? 

There are different means to secure a death certificate. Ordinarily, the original death certificates are sent to the funeral home handling the services who distributes them to the family. Thereafter, you can get it from the vital records office of your state or the county clerk’s office.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Today many of us are so attached to our mobile phones that we carry them around every moment of every day. These devices have more or less become an extension of us. However, as attached as we may be, there are some places and instances where it is disrespectful and impolite to use our phones. One such example is a funeral.

A funeral is a personal and sacred event where loved ones pay their respects and say their goodbyes to someone who has passed. As such, certain etiquettes need to be followed, even when it comes to mobile use. We discuss these etiquettes below.

Don’t use unless absolutely necessary

Generally, cell phone use should be limited at funerals. If you are always texting, scrolling through social media or taking phone calls, it is considered extremely disrespectful to the family of the deceased and the memory of the departed as well. Put simply, don’t use your phone unless it is crucial. If you do have to take or make urgent calls or send texts, make sure to excuse yourself and step outside politely.

Keep your phone on silent mode

Always keep your phone on silent mode when you are at a funeral. Sounds coming from your phone such as ringing sounds, notification sounds, etc. can be very disruptive and distracting at solemn events such as funerals. Remember to keep it on silent, and not vibrate, as the vibrating sound can still be audible.

Avoid taking pictures/selfies

Taking pictures or selfies, whether it is of you, you and your friends, of others, the casket, etc., should be avoided at funerals. This can be considered an invasion of privacy, unless you have permission from the family to click snapshots with your phone. Also, if you have permission to take photographs, be quick and don’t distract the other guests. And don’t forget to silence the sounds. 

Thanks for reading,

Karen

A funeral is an important ceremony that allows people to say their final good-byes to a loved one who has passed away. As such, there are many significant decisions that need to be made while planning the funeral.

Some of the most significant decisions regarding funerals include whether the body should be buried or cremated, where to bury, where to scatter ashes, whether a certain religious tradition should be followed, etc.

These decisions make up your funeral, and if you haven’t already left instructions or decided on who should make choices on your behalf, it’s time you consider it. If you have made your wishes known, then it is a statutory obligation for your survivors to honor those wishes. 

There are various ways a person can make their funeral preferences known, including who will make the decisions. Some of these include a Living Will, a Last Will and Testament, as well as other legal documents such as Disposition Authorization Affidavit, Authorization for Final Disposition, or Appointment of Agent to Control Disposition of Remains.

Keep in mind--If there are no instructions left by the deceased

If you do not leave behind any instructions or preferences regarding your own funeral, then the responsibility to make these decisions fall upon your nearest relative. This could be your husband, wife, children, parents, sister, brother, etc.

To qualify as a relative who can make decisions regarding a funeral, a person must be over 18 years old. First, the spouse or domestic partner is considered, after which the children are prioritized. If neither of these is present or available, then parents, siblings, authorized guardian, grandchildren, aunts and uncles, and even cousins can qualify as next of kin and make decisions regarding a funeral. 

In some situations, a very close friend of the deceased can even be considered as next of kin if blood relatives are not available.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

When a loved one dies in a foreign country, it can be easy to worry and feel helpless. What do you do to get the remains back? Who do you have to contact for help?

Depending on the country of death, local protocols can be very different. However, there are three main steps that you have to follow if a loved one dies in a different country.

• Contact your embassy or consulate in the country of death

The first thing you can do is contact your embassy or consulate in the country where the death occurred. They will help you get in touch with the foreign offices so you can get the remains back safely and as quickly as possible. They will also provide you with instructions on how to send the funds required to cover the costs.

Apart from making arrangements for the return of the remains, they will also issue a Consular Report of Death Abroad, a legal document with important details of the passing.

• Find out if you have to travel to the country

In addition to the Consular Report of Death Abroad, there are many documents that you need to get the remains back home. These may include a Foreign Funeral Affidavit, a Consular Mortuary Certificate, a Transit Permit, etc.

Depending on the country of death, the rules may be different regarding who can claim the body and sign the required paperwork. So, make sure to work out these details with your consulate or embassy so you can decide if you need to go abroad.

• Find a trusted funeral home in the US to help you

While the foreign side of the process will be taken care of the consulate or embassy, a trusted funeral home in the US can help you with arrangements back home. Always make sure that the funeral home you choose is willing to accommodate the time differences.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

When someone dies, their loved ones handle their important financial and legal works. But one thing that many people tend to forget, although everyone has them, are social media accounts. In today’s 21^st century digitized world we live, what do you do with someone’s social media accounts after they die?

• Google

Google has what is known as Inactive Account Manager, which enables the account holder to set a time period, after which the account will be automatically deleted or designated to someone else if it is inactive for that selected time period. This can be three, six, nine, or twelve months. But if the account holder has not used this option, you can directly contact Google to manage the account of the deceased. Although the company won’t give out passwords, it does entertain requests to close accounts.

• Facebook

The Facebook account of someone who has died can either be memorialized or deleted.  Memorialization is a common option, as it keeps all the posts from the account visible, and friends can post on the timeline depending on the settings. The word “Remembering” is placed next to the name. Memorialization requests can be made in the Help Center page of Facebook.

Another option is to delete the account, which would require you to provide documents to prove that you are either an immediate family or estate executor of the deceased. You can then send a request to Facebook to delete the account.

• Twitter

The Twitter account of someone who has died can be permanently deleted. However, you need to prove you are an immediate family or the executor of the estate of the deceased. You will have to submit documents like a death certificate and your own ID.

• Instagram

Like Facebook, an Instagram account can either be deleted or memorialized.  However, deletion can be requested only by immediate family members, for which you will have to provide proof

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Donation in any form is a generous act. There are many people who are in dire need of food and clothing who can benefit from it. When you lose a loved one, it is difficult to part from their belongings. Most of us cling to them in our mourning their death. What if they can be honored by helping those in need? Why not give away a lost one’s clothes and some belongings to charity?

Before you donate to charity, keep the following points in mind:

• Find a charitable organization to donate the items. Call or visit them to know what is accepted as a charity. Find an organization that is willing to accept the clothes of the deceased.
• Wash or dry clean every clothing item to be donated and make sure that they are not contaminated with mold or anything that can cause health problems.
• Treat any stains, tear, rip, or damage before you donate them as these clothes are reused by people in need, and charitable organizations cannot do it.
• Check all pockets and folds for personal belongings. Many times charities have found cash, jewelry, cards, and other valuable items in the donated items.
• Try to donate seasonal clothes as most charitable organizations do not have ample storage space. If you have winter clothes to donate during summer, hold on to it and donate at the right time.
• Consider separating all clothing items before you put them in a box. Label each box. This will help the volunteers in the charitable organization send those items quickly where it is needed.
• Children’s clothing can be donated directly to any orphanages that are willing to take it.
• Towels and sheets with a tear, rip, or huge stains can be donated to an animal shelter as they can be used there.

Remember, when you donate your loved one’s clothes to charity, you honor them by helping someone in need.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Everyone You Need to Notify After Someone Dies

After someone dies, it is important that the right people are notified of the death. Apart from friends and family, there are several agencies and institutions that must be contacted and informed of this occurrence.

If the death was unexpected, make sure you call 911 immediately. If not, then call your medical practitioner. This should be done immediately after the death.

In the following few days, you will have to contact more people, informing them of the situation. These include:

• Financial institutions

It is necessary to get in touch with all financial institutions that your loved one had an account and notify them of the death. So make sure you call any bank that your loved one had a savings account in, or through which he/she held credit cards, mortgages, insurance policies, etc. so that the accounts can be frozen. However, before you do so, make sure you have a death certificate as well as letters of administration.

• Utilities and service providers

Next up, utilities and service providers that provide electricity, gas, water, internet, phone, TV, or other monthly or yearly subscriptions need to be contacted as well so that their services can be cancelled.

• Government agencies

The Social Security Administration must also be notified of the death if your loved one was a recipient of social security benefits. Moreover, you may able to receive survivor benefits from the government if you qualify. For example, if the deceased was a veteran, informing the Department of Veterans Affairs may be able to get you survivor benefits.

• Mail Services

You will also need to redirect your loved one’s mail to your house if you did not live together.

While losing a loved one is never easy, contacting these people in a timely manner will help you avoid problems in the future. 

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Loss is a natural part of life. That being said, losing a loved one is the most devastating experience in life. A parent, a sibling, a child, a friend, or a lover-once lost-is lost forever. Coping with this loss can prove to be challenging. You should know that it is hard to overcome this loss, but not impossible. Everyone reacts differently to death. But most people find different ways to honor the ones they have lost and keep their memory living forever. The coping mechanism differs from one person to another. People do different things to honor the ones they have lost. The most significant are those which make a difference.

Donate for a cause: Donation is something that has its way of helping someone in need. It brings a feeling of pleasure, a feeling of fulfillment that someone, somewhere is saved. It is the best way to honor a lost one as it gives life to another.

• Organ donation: Donating the organs of a loved one can give life to someone else’s loved one.
• Financial Aid: Helping someone in need of finances is as good as saving them from regrets of unfulfilled life.
• Time donation: Donating time by spending it with children in orphanage, or with the aged in a nursing home brings joy to them and makes you feel fulfilled

Go Green initiative: There is always a need to protect our environment. Honoring the lost one by planting a flowering plant, a tree or a patch of grass, makes all the difference.

Reach out to others: There are several others who have lost their loved ones. Reaching out to them and helping them cope with the loss is a way to honor the lost.

Be anonymous: Honoring someone can even be made possible by anonymously helping someone or something in need. Pay for someone’s education, send food to an orphanage or nursing home, feed the poor, pay for someone’s treatment, pay for an animal’s life, rescue an animal from a shelter. The list goes on and on.

Coping with the loss of a loved one is difficult. But honoring them makes a lot of difference.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Epitaphs are among the oldest forms of writing in the world. They are a way to commemorate the dead and celebrate the lives they’ve lived. They can be poetry or verse and are usually inscribed onto a gravestone or memorial plaque at a burial to honor the memory of the deceased. A memorable epitaph is short and heartfelt. The feeling that it conveys is generally a reflection of the deceased person’s personality. It can be tragic if the person’s death was sacrificial or humorous if the person liked to laugh things off when alive. It may also be ironic. A good epitaph is not overly sentimental. It is a summation of the life that the individual lived.

If you're writing your own epitaph, you already have the voice figured out. Now, all you have to do is determine who the epitaph will be addressed to. It could be a general address to the common public, a passerby or a beloved. As discussed above, you could inject a little bit of your personality into it. So if you're religious, you could include scripture from a sacred text.

The reason epitaphs are generally asked to be kept short is because the gravestone affords very little space for lengthy text unless you want to spend lavishly on your tombstone, in which case you can write yourself a long one. However, it is best to keep it short. You could list a couple of your achievements on your epitaph if you'd like to be remembered for them. You could leave a few comforting words for those surviving you to offer solace. If you're confused about how to write an epitaph, you could do some research. Once you’ve written one down, you could show it to your friends and family and ask for their opinion.

You could leave your family or friends to write your epitaph for you when you're gone. However, if you choose to write your epitaph for you – there's nothing wrong with that either.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Those who have lost a loved one often ask how long they have to wait before they can erect a memorial or a headstone on a grave. There is no direct answer to this. Mostly, it depends on the cemetery. While some cemeteries may need you to wait for a set period of time before you can erect memorials, some do not have such rules. Instead, they may encourage you to make plans to order your headstone any time you want.

Many cemeteries suggest that families wait at least six weeks before placing a flat grass marker. But the waiting period is longer if you wish to erect an upright monument. Often, you have to wait for about three to six months to make sure that by the time you do place the memorials, any dirt around the grave would have settled. This is because a new grave takes time to settle and can move around, especially when there is a lot of rainfall. While the ground below is settling, the earth and dirt above are also subject to moving.

In some cemeteries, this issue is addressed by using a special tampering machine that can level the grave. This helps the fresh dirt above to be concentrated right above the grave instead of moving about. As such, families don’t have to wait for a long time to place memorials for their lost loved ones.

Since the ground often needs time to settle, it is advised that you wait about six months before you erect any kind of memorial. Otherwise, if you decide to go ahead with this too soon rather than waiting for the recommended time period, you are highly likely to find yourself ordering replacement memorials soon.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Headstone inscriptions are a special way to remember your loved ones who have passed away. Many people want to inscribe something that truly reflects the kind of person the deceased was, while some may choose favorite quotes or sayings. 

Some people even let their family know the inscription of their choice before their time comes, but if this isn’t the case, it will be up to you, as a loved one, to choose the headstone inscriptions. Here are some tips to help you out.

• Don’t rush or make decisions in haste

Remember to take your time and don’t rush into anything. Keep in mind that a headstone inscription is something that will remain for a long time, if not forever. Allow yourself and whoever is involved enough time to carefully consider all available options regarding words, design, etc.

•  Avoid using words unnecessarily

Don’t clutter the headstone with unnecessary words. Simple, short, yet meaningful, wordings are a good choice. For example, don’t clutter with common wordings like “In loving memory of”. Instead, choose words that have an impact on a personal level. 

• Choose designs and fonts that are timeless

You don’t have to conform to trends that everyone else is following. Choose designs and fonts that you really like, and will stand the test of time. Besides, the designs and fonts chosen can really make a difference on the entire look and feel of the headstone so choose carefully. 

• Consider quotes from poems, books, or songs

While some people like to put words like “Beloved brother, father and grandfather” or something similar, it may be a good idea to use quotes from poems, books or songs that the deceased really liked, or what you think would accurately capture the feeling of loss, love, or grief.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Many people like to serve food at funeral services or memorial services. Even though this is not necessarily an obligation, it has become some sort of a tradition. If you and your family are unable to provide food to your guests for any reason at all, you don’t have to. People understand that you are grieving and busy, that you have a lot on your plate, and they don’t expect anything from you.

However, if you do decide to serve some food for guests at a funeral service or a memorial service, it’s going to take some planning. To help you out, here are some things that you must keep in mind:

• How many people do you expect to attend?

If you only expect close friends and relatives to attend and the crowd is small, you have a wide variety of options to choose from when it comes to funeral food. However, if you expect a huge number of people to show up, it’s better to go for food items that can be prepared in bulk.

• What kind of food will you serve?

The kind of food that you serve completely depends on your personal choice and/or your culture. However, to give you some ideas, here are some common funeral foods – Mac and Cheese, fruit and vegetable tray, salad with dressing on the side, cookies and brownies, dinner rolls, lemonade, coffee, etc.

• Who will be preparing the food?

Oftentimes, it is up to you and your family to prepare the foods. Do not hesitate to ask for help from friends, and they will be more than willing to help you out. Your community can even take care of the food if you are really close. Check with your church community as they may have a special ministry just for this purpose. Some well-wishers may even bring sympathy dishes for you. If your budget allows, consider catering.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

When a loved one dies you can choose to have a graveside service, which is simply a funeral service held at the grave, the site of burial. You can either have a graveside service as a stand-alone ceremony, or it can be conducted after a traditional funeral service held at home, church or a funeral home.

If you are planning a graveside service, here are some important tips to keep in mind:

      Make sure you let people know if it's a private ceremony

If you are having a graveside ceremony, make sure you let people know clearly whether it is open to all, or only meant for close friends and family members to attend especially if you are having a graveside service after a traditional service. People will assume that it's open to all if you don't make your announcement. They will understand if you prefer to keep the graveside service a private event.

Know how a graveside service differs from a traditional funeral service 

Planning a graveside service isn't the same as planning a normal funeral ceremony. For instance, you won't require pallbearers, and by the time attendees have arrived the casket is usually already in place. In most cases, viewings are not allowed, or if allowed, it is only for a brief period. Only one eulogy is delivered in most graveside services, and live music isn't necessary but can be arranged. Flower arrangements are also minimal or not present at all.

 Graveside funeral services are highly cost-effective

If budget is an issue then you can benefit greatly from having just a graveside funeral alone without having a traditional funeral service. For instance, you can cut costs by not having to rent a funeral home or hire catering. You also don't have to pay money for renting limousines, hiring musicians, etc. as these won't be necessary.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Loss is a profound, personal experience that is never easy no matter the circumstances, which is why writing a heartfelt and genuine condolence message can be so difficult. You are afraid that you will say the wrong words and make the loss even worse, instead of offering them consolation. You may be afraid that your message might not sound genuine.

We understand how daunting such a simple task can be, so here are a few tips to help you write a condolence message.

      Address them by their names

First, start the message by addressing the bereaved with their names. For instance, Dear, so and so. If youre writing to a family, make sure to include each members name.

Start by offering your condolence

The body of the message should begin with you offering your condolences. You must acknowledge their loss and let them know that you are truly sorry for their loss. For instance, Im sorry to hear about your loss is a simple yet effective choice of words.

 Share positive, personal experiences with the person

It always helps if you can include positive, personal experiences with the person. For example, if the deceased ever helped you or you both had a good laugh, then include that. Families love to hear uplifting stories about their loved ones. You can also include qualities the deceased had that you admire.

 Let them know you are ready to help

The next step is to let the family know that you are ready and willing to help them out in any way that you can. Let them know you are there for them in any way that you can. The important thing is that they receive support from those who matter.

 Sign off with care

Finally, end the message with an appropriate sign off like With my love or Our sympathies, and so on.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Losing a loved one is difficult, and having to oversee everything for their funeral makes the experience even harder. You’ll be so preoccupied with getting everything organized that you won’t even have time to mourn and say your last goodbyes. This is where a funeral director comes in.

A funeral director and his or her team takes care of embalming and preparing the body, planning every detail of the service--from handling paperwork to choosing which flowers will be displayed. They are people who can take a huge burden off your back during a difficult time. It is important to find a funeral director that you can trust and depend on. So before you hire one, make sure he/she has these qualities:

• Should be a good listener

A good funeral director should be able to lend an ear patiently to all their clients with the understanding that each of them is likely to have different requirements. They should be able to listen to your concerns, requests and questions and put you at ease.

• Should have empathy and great communication skills

A good funeral director should be patient and understanding of the fact that you have just lost an important person in your life. While communicating with you they should be very clear, concise and effective without being rude or disregarding.

• Should be respectful and should never pressure you

If you ever feel like your funeral director is pressuring you into something you don’t want, like going for a higher-priced product or service, understand that this is not professional behavior. A good funeral director should never take advantage of their clients during a time when they are most vulnerable.

• Should be transparent with their prices

A good funeral director should have no hidden costs and should openly share their prices with their clients. They should also have fair market pricing.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Planning the funeral of a loved one is no doubt a painful and difficult experience, but it can even be more stressful when you have to do it from a distance. Today, many families live apart from each other. So, when someone passes away, a family member who lives in a different city or country may have to plan the funeral remotely before they can come home.

Whatever the case may be, planning a funeral from afar poses many challenges, but it is not an impossible task. Here, we will discuss challenges remote funeral planning impose and important points to keep in mind that will make it easier and less stressful for you.

Challenges to remote funeral planning

If you haven’t lived in the area for a long time or haven’t lived there at all, it is highly likely that you may not know the local funeral homes and directors and which ones are the most trustworthy. When you are not the familiar with the area, it becomes more difficult to get things done from far away.

Another thing is that once you get to the area, you may not have time or energy to make all the necessary arrangements for the funeral, which is why it is best to take care of everything as early as possible.

Important tips to keep in mind

• Thanks to the internet, you can search for local funeral homes in the area, look up their reviews and decide on the best one. It is important that the funeral home of your choice is technology-friendly and has a functioning website from where you can make the arrangements.
• Another option is to contact them by phone. This is faster, easier and more efficient than inquiring through e-mail.
• If possible, ask relatives and close friends living in the area for help.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

A condolence message, also known as a sympathy note, is a thoughtful and meaningful way to let the bereaved know that you realize what they are going through, that you are thinking of them and are there for them. They provide support to those who are grieving since even the tiniest amount of support is precious during such difficult times.

If you know anyone who has lost a loved one, make sure to send them a condolence message. If you’re not sure how to go about writing it, here are some tips to help you out.

It doesn’t have to be long

Keep in mind that a condolence does not have to be long and made up of complex words. It’s best when it is short and simple as it is easier to process at a time of grief. What matters most is that it is honest and comes from your heart.

Make sure to acknowledge their loss but don’t compare

At the start, express your sadness over their loss using phrases like "I was sad to hear" or "I am thinking of you and your family at this time." This establishes that you acknowledge their loss. However, make sure that you don't compare their loss to yours, even if you have experienced something similar. This is about them, not you.

Share a heart-warming memory you have of the deceased

If you knew the deceased in person, make sure to write a few lines on a positive memory you have about them. This makes the bereaved feel better since they now know that their loved one brought happiness to other people.

Avoid saying things to explain the death

In your condolence message, never try to explain the death. So avoid phrases like "This is for the best" or "This is a part of God's plan." These are not the most pleasant things to hear when someone is grieving.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

The expectation of the death of a loved one, whatever the reason may be, is not a good feeling at all. Knowing that you will have to say goodbye to them can make your conversations with them extremely uncomfortable or heart-breaking. However, it is important to remember that what matters most is to make your last moments with them count. So, even though it may be difficult, here are a few things to keep in mind when talking to a loved one who is dying.

• Listen closely and let them guide the conversation

When talking to a person who does not have much time left, the most important thing is to listen closely to what they have to say. From the words they use and the tone of their voice you will be able to know how they want the conversation to be. Remember that it is about them. Be open to talk about what they want to talk about.

• Make sure to let them know you have nothing but love for them

If there is something you need to forgive them for, make sure you let them know clearly. And if you are the one who has to ask for forgiveness, put away your ego and do so. Also, remember to thank them for all they mean to you. Hearing such things from people who matter help them go in peace.

• You don’t have to keep it so serious

You may think it insensitive talking to people who are dying about everyday, mundane topics such as what happened at work, or a TV show that you both like to watch. However, this is not always the case. He/she is still the same person and still likes the same things. Besides, discussing such topics will remind them that they are still alive even though they may not have much time left.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

When writing a eulogy, you should always remember that you are not writing a book about the deceased. So keep it short and sweet, and make your words count. If possible, write a eulogy you can deliver in no more than five minutes. 

To help you out, we have listed some useful tips to help you write a beautiful, meaningful eulogy that everyone can appreciate:

Make sure you choose a positive tone

Focus on the positive qualities of the deceased. If he/she lived a difficult or troubled life, you don’t have to talk about that. The audience probably already knows it, and it will only make mourning that much more difficult. So choose to focus on their positive traits.

Keep it personal by sharing anecdotes and stories

Remember to include humorous or heart-warming stories and anecdotes about the deceased, maybe something that both of you experienced. You can use these stories to support a point that you are trying to make, like how they possessed a positive quality. For example, if you want to share that he/she was someone who was giving and generous, you can share a story to support that.

Don’t talk about yourself for too long 

Always keep in mind that even though you are the one delivering the eulogy, it is not about you. Just give a brief introduction, stating your name and how you are related to or know the deceased. Avoid using too many first person pronouns like “I” and “me”.

Close it with comforting words and say your last goodbye 

Finally, make sure to close your eulogy with words that lend peace and comfort. You can talk about valuable life lessons the deceased taught you, or something similar. Then, end it with one, last goodbye. 

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Funeral planning is not an easy experience. You have to make necessary arrangements and do what you must despite having lost a loved one. This is why, understandably, most bereaved often do not think straight or make rational decisions with a clear head.

At National Memorial Planning, we understand this ordeal that many people go through. So to make the experience easier for you, here are the top five questions you should always ask before deciding on a funeral home.

1. How many years have you been in business?

With experience comes expertise. So, don’t forget to ask the funeral home how long they have been in business. Enquire if it is family-owned because usually family-owned funeral homes are passed down from generation, meaning that they have years of experience.

2. How many people can fit in your chapel?

Knowing how big the chapel is and how many people can fit in will help you plan the funeral in an organized and systematic manner. If possible, visit the funeral home yourself to see how well it can accommodate your plans.

3. Am I free to choose any service despite my faith/personal beliefs?

All kinds of services like cremation, embalming, viewing and burial should be provided to you regardless of your faith or personal beliefs. It should be noted that embalming is not legally required.

4. What are your funeral packages like?

Remember to ask what kind of offers or packages they offer so you can get the best deal possible. Funeral homes should have packages ranging from basic to all-inclusive.

5. What are the payment options available to me?

Funerals can be expensive. Make sure to ask what payment options are available to you. For instance, the funeral home may be open to working with an insurance company or arranging for financial assistance.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

We all know that picking out music for any occasion is no simple task. The songs or pieces we choose will set the mood and tone of the entire occasion, whatever it may be. But, it’s even more difficult to choose a song for a funeral, whether we are planning our own funeral in advance or it’s for the funeral of a loved one.

As difficult as it may be, the music played at someone’s funeral is an important and memorable part of the entire service, and often what people will remember most. So, if you want a meaningful song that people will remember you with, or you want someone you have lost to be remembered with a particular song, here are some tips on how to choose the perfect funeral song:

1. Choose something personal and meaningful

The most important factor to consider is that the song or music you choose should be meaningful. And for that, it has to be personal. It doesn’t matter if it does not sound like your usual funeral music. What matters is that it has meaning, and the deceased will be remembered with that music.

2. Think of how you want people to feel at the funeral

It is well-known that music has the power to make us feel a certain way. The kind of music we listen to can effectively influence our mood. Before choosing a song, consider how the song will make people feel at the funeral. Will it make them feel the way you want them to?

3. Carefully go through the lyrics first

Before you settle with a song, make sure to go through the lyrics first and understand the meaning. Lyrics are as important as the tune. For example, the words of a song may not be ideal for the kind of funeral you want, or the ideas presented in the song may not match yours or the deceased.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Holidays are a joyous and wonderful time of the year when close friends and families come together in celebration. However, if you have experienced the loss of a loved one, you probably know that holidays, as happy as they are, can be a rather difficult time. The space a loved one left – whether a mother, father, sister, brother, child or anyone – is felt even more deeply during the holiday season.

However, it is possible to remember your loved ones and cherish their memories during these times without having to grieve and miss out on the holiday fun and cheer. Below, we share the different ways you can honor a loved one’s memories during the holidays:

1. Set a place for them at the table

While this may sound simple, it is deeply meaningful for many families and friends. It signifies that although our loved ones may be physically gone, there will always be place for them and they will live on in our hearts.

2. Make a donation in their name

A good idea is to donate money or their old clothes, basically anything that could help a special cause. It is even more special if you donate to a cause that your loved one would have strongly supported.

3. Light a special candle for them

You can keep a beautiful, scented candle lit and place it where you can easily see it, like on the dining table or in the living room. You can light it up throughout the holiday season, but make sure to never leave the candle unattended.

4. Make a memory blanket

A sweet gesture is to make a memory blanket. Cut out pieces of your loved one’s old clothes and make a quilted blanket out of the pieces. This helps to make you feel like they are still with you.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Funeral services are an important ritual that not only helps us to let go of our loved ones, but also remember them and honor their memory in the presence of all who knew them. As such, many people may like to organize a funeral that truly reflects the kind of person the deceased was and the kind of life they lived.

If you, too, would like to hold a funeral service that will honor the memory of a loved one in a special and unique way, here are some creative tips on how to personalize a funeral service.

Customize their casket or urn

You can have the casket or urn customized in such a way that it truly reflects the deceased. For example, you can decorate it with their favorite possession, or items that are representative of who they were as a person – like their career, passion or hobby. 

Use their passion as an inspiration

Think about what made your loved one most happy. What were they passionate about? In what did they invest most of their time and energy? Use this passion of theirs as a theme for the funeral. For example, if they loved volunteering and charity work, you can invite guests to make donations for a cause that was close to their heart.

Get creative with photo displays

Gather old photos that best reflect the kind of person they were, and tell their life story through these pictures. You can make a collage, hand pictures all over the service location, make wreaths out of such photos, etc.

Ask guests to share their favorite memory

A unique and sweet way to remember your loved one is to ask all the guests to write down their favorite memory with them, along with their names. This is a creative replacement for a registry as well.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Talking about death is not the most uplifting and pleasant conversation to have, especially regarding your own death. However, when your time comes, if you would like your funeral conducted in a certain way, or have other funeral wishes you want fulfilled, it is necessary that you speak to your loved ones – often your family – about it in an open manner.

So, to make this process easier for you, here are some useful tips we would like to offer:

• Have them all together, and be direct and open in communicating your wishes

Firstly, you have to gather everyone you want to impart your wishes to – parents, siblings, partner, children, etc – in a single room. Make sure you choose a quiet, peaceful and private room where you and the people closest to you can discuss the topic openly. When you tell them your wishes, be direct. Tell them clearly if you want to be buried or cremated, whom you want the pallbearers to be, whom you want to give the eulogy, etc.

• Remember to reassure them that your aim is to help, not to upset

Granted this will be an emotional conversation, especially if you are in poor health and death is imminent. So make sure to reassure your loved ones that the point of having this conversation and imparting your last wishes to them is so that they can be relieved of at least some amount of stress during a rough time, and that your intention is not to upset them.

• Include your funeral wishes in your will as well as a separate file

Without legal documentation, your family or whoever plans your funeral is not legally obliged to carry out your wishes. Remember to include your funeral wishes in your last will. If possible, write down, in a detailed manner, your funeral wishes in a separate form for more clarity.

Thanks for reading,

Karen