It is often said that no matter how many times you lose your loved ones to death, it is something you can never get used to. In other words, just because you have lost an important person in your life before doesn’t mean it will hurt less when you lose another person.
Death is something for which we cannot always prepare. Losing a loved one can be an overwhelmingly negative experience, and in order to get through it, it is crucial that you stay away from unhealthy grieving and mourning or coping mechanisms. When you lose someone to death, you become vulnerable as it is an experience that affects your cognition and emotion, as well as physical health. This is exactly why it is all the more important to grieve and cope with your loss in healthy and positive ways.
Here are some of the most common unhealthy grieving/coping mechanisms that you should avoid:
- Living in denial
A common reaction to death of a loved one is living in denial. Many people pretend that the person is not gone, or don’t want to accept the fact that they are not with them any longer, so they live in denial to fill up the space their loss has created.
- Avoiding your real feelings and emotions
Another unhealthy coping mechanism is resorting to negative, ineffective habits so that you can avoid your real feelings and emotions. People are scared to face their real feelings because they think they won’t be able to take it, so they distract themselves instead.
- Pretending like you are handling it well
You don’t have to pretend to be strong when you have lost a loved one. It can be easy to pressure yourself into acting like you are coping extremely well, but bottling up your feelings can have disastrous effects.
And never be afraid to get help from professionals like grief counsellors, ministers or grief therapy organizations.
Thank you for reading,
Karen