Blog-Health & Coping

Losing a loved one is difficult as it is, especially if you’ve lost them this year. Now that a whole new year is stretching ahead of us, you may wonder how to find the strength to carry on.

Perhaps, your new year’s resolution is to allow yourself to move on and welcome the new year on a positive note. It is completely okay and normal if you are somehow relieved that you are finally leaving behind a year that has been marked with such a great loss. Many people often feel guilty for wanting to move on, for feeling this “relief”, but it is important for you to know that it is okay. You are allowed to move on with your life after losing a loved one.

Perhaps you do not feel relieved. Maybe you are anxious about the coming new year, worried about how you are going to move on to a whole new year without your loved one. This is a common feeling among people who are grieving. If you also feel this way, you should know that creating new memories without the person you have lost does not mean you are betraying the memory you have created with them.

Remember to be patient and gentle with yourself, and don’t push yourself to do anything in which you are uncomfortable. If your loss has been debilitating for you, if your entire life has come to a halt because of this loss, then maybe, the new year is the perfect opportunity for you to get back on track. Here are some tips that you may find useful:

• Look back at the year and try to understand how the loss and other experiences have helped you grow. Think of the valuable lessons life has taught you throughout the year. Writing them down will help a great deal.
• Make sure you don’t overwork yourself. Be kind to yourself and surround yourself with people who understand that you need time.
• Don’t compare your “grieving and moving on” journey with that of others. It’s never the same.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences anyone can have. It takes time to accept that they are gone from this world, it takes time and courage to learn to adapt to life in their absence.

You cannot expect everyone around you to understand what you are going through when you are mourning, but it is possible to surround yourself with people who can relate to your experience. This is exactly what a grief support group does. As the name suggests, it provides support to the bereaved, hears what they have to say, and offer a safe space to pour open their hearts. Here are the different ways a grief support group can help anyone who has lost a loved one:

Support from people who have similar experiences

The greatest benefit is that grief support groups provide a safe and non-judgmental space for the bereaved, because every single person there has lost someone close to them and understands what you may be going through. Even though no two losses are the same, it definitely helps to surround yourself with people who have had similar experiences.

A sense of belonging to a group that understands

It can be easy to feel isolated from everyone you know, whether friends or family, when you have lost a loved one, especially when the deceased is someone you share a special connection or relationship with. Not everyone may understand the depth of your grief, making you feel alone. But with a support group, you have a sense of belonging to a group that understands.

A place to open your mind to new perspectives

When you attend grief support groups, you meet people from different walks of life, each with a unique story of love and loss. Maybe these people have learned healthy and effective coping skills and relaxation techniques, which you can also benefit from. Or maybe hearing their story alone can give you a different perspective on life.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Going back to work after having lost a loved one may seem like the most daunting task. You are probably still grieving, and it is likely that you find it difficult to focus on anything at all. Besides, not everyone at work will understand what you are going through, and this can only make the transition more difficult.

It's true that returning to work after losing a loved one is no easy task, but these are some ways that can help you out:

      Think of returning to work as something positive

Going back to work may be the last thing you want to do while grieving, but you can look at it in a much more positive way. When you return to work, you are surrounded by other people, you get back into a routine, and your mind has other things to focus on. This keeps you distracted from focusing only on your loss.

Dont take on more than you can handle

While focusing on your work can be a good distraction, you must make sure not to take on too much work. You may think that overloading your responsibilities will keep you distracted even more, but it can only make things harder for you. It will be easier to get stressed and burn out.

 Stay in touch with your manager or HR

For a few weeks after your return to work, make sure you communicate with HR or your manager. Let them know how you are coping, and don't be ashamed to ask for help if you need anything. Even if they do not regularly check up with you, don't hesitate to reach out first.

These are some of the best ways you can make sure returning to work after losing a loved one is not too much for you to handle. If these don't help, then you should consider giving yourself more time to grieve.

Thanks for reading!

Karen

When you lose someone who is close to you, the thought of living life after their death can be a terrifying one, especially if you lived under the same roof with them. However, the truth is that life goes on and we should be able to cope with our grief in a healthy manner so that we can get on with our lives without them. It’s okay and normal to grieve in your own way, as long as it is not detrimental for your well-being and those around you. Here are some tips on how to grieve in a healthy manner.

• Understand that grieving doesn’t mean you’re weak

First and foremost, you should understand that grieving is normal and completely okay. You shouldn't feel guilty for how you feel. Instead, allow yourself to feel your emotions and embrace them completely. It's the only way you will get through it.

• Create a safe space where you can honor your loved one’s memory

Whether it is a small corner in the house where their picture hangs or a bench in the park dedicated to them, you can create some sort of a memorial for your loved one. This safe space can help you feel closer to them.

• Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends and family

When you are grieving, it is easy to pull yourself away from everyone and suffer on your own. However, this is not healthy and could only lead to other issues. Instead, make sure you reach out to your close friends and family for support, discuss how you feel and allow others to lend a shoulder.

• Find a creative outlet for your grief

A healthy way to cope with the loss of a loved one is to channel your grief into creative expression. Whether it’s writing, painting, sketching, music or any other art form, finding a creative outlet can really help.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Losing someone you love is heart-breaking, even more so if you shared a house with them. It can be extremely difficult to relocate houses while you are grieving. You are leaving a home that is filled with so many happy memories of your loved one – memories you want to cherish forever. It is completely natural to experience feelings of sadness, guilt and even anger during such times.

However, you should acknowledge that no matter how difficult it may be, it must be done, and here are a few things you should know that may make the experience easier for you.

• Don’t be too hard on yourself

Everyone grieves and gets back to the world on their own terms and at their own pace. Don’t push yourself too hard even if it takes you longer than most. Nor should you feel guilty if it takes you a shorter period of time. Take your own time.

• See the new home as a fresh start or bring in their belongings: It’s up to you

If you are relocating and you wish to use this opportunity to finally move on, that’s alright. It’s a great idea and you should be happy with yourself for having the courage. And if you feel that you are not ready yet and you want to bring in things that remind you of your loved one, then that’s okay. Bereavement is a personal experience and you shouldn’t care about what others think.

• If you are moving to help cope with your grief, make sure it’s your own rational decision

If you have decided to move as a way to help you cope with your loss and grief and not because you have to, then always make sure no one – friends or family – is influencing your decision. It is a huge change and you should be the one to decide.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences, and different kinds of people cope with their loss in different ways. One such coping method is known as grief-eating, which means eating lots of unhealthy food in an attempt to trick your own body.  When you eat foods that are high in sugar and fats, a feel-good chemical called dopamine is released by the brain. This only makes you want to eat more of the same kinds of food.

Grief-eating is not the healthiest coping mechanism especially because it can be so addictive. Moreover, it can have adverse long-term effects such as weight gain, health issues, low self-esteem, and even eating disorders.

Below we outline some steps you can take to overcome grief-eating:

• Understand that it’s okay to grief-eat as long as you have control

Grief-eating is nothing but one of the many coping mechanisms that people adopt after the loss of a loved one. It is only natural that you want to search for momentary comfort in any way possible. So don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t talk yourself down using negative self-talk. Instead, accept that it’s only temporary.

• Know what your emotional triggers are

You are most probably grief-eating because something triggers it. It could be a thought, a feeling, an event, or even an object that makes you want to eat to comfort yourself. Find out what these triggers are. It will help you in managing your stress.

• Physical hunger vs. emotional hunger

Know the difference between physical hunger and emotional hunger, so you know when to consume food or not. Physical hunger builds up gradually in your stomach, while emotional hunger comes on suddenly. You will also most likely crave a specific food that is high in sugar or fat. 

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Losing your spouse is one of the most heart-breaking experiences of life. You have lost someone who you promised to spend the rest of your life with--someone you love dearly. It can be difficult to cope in healthy ways with such a loss.

You may experience feelings of anger, guilt, fear, sadness and shock. These are only natural and you shouldn’t stop yourself from feeling them. In fact, it’s actually healthy to allow yourself to feel all these completely. This is a part of grief and only then will you be able to move on to the next chapter of your life.

Now the question is, how can you move on? How do you cope with your loss and get your life back together? Here are a few ideas to help you out.

• Accept that not everyone will understand your pain

Some people may not be comfortable with the idea of death and hence, may not understand what you are going through. They may act the wrong way or say the wrong words. Try to forgive these people.

• Reach out to caring and understanding friends and family

Your family and friends will understand you, and it’s always a good idea to reach out to them and talk openly about how you feel. They themselves may be grieving too, so you could help each other out simply by understanding how the other feels. It’s never a good idea to isolate yourself.

• Take care of your health

Grief of such magnitude can be detrimental for your physical and mental health. Many people tend to lose their appetite and have trouble sleeping. Make sure you take care of your body and health during this time.

• Don’t make big decisions, if possible

You may think that moving to a new city or quitting your job may be a good idea after your loss. Give it time. Don't make decisions while you are grieving as you may regret it later.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

Losing a loved one is never easy, no matter how many times you may have experienced it before. Dealing with loss can be confusing, infuriating, and difficult. It is important that we make sure we do not cope with loss in a negative manner since we are extremely vulnerable at such times.

So, if you or anyone is grieving, make sure to watch out for these unhealthy coping methods.

• Denial

Denial can come in many forms. The most obvious is unwilling to accept that your loved one has gone. People who are in denial may still talk about the deceased in the present tense, as if they are still alive. Another form is talking about the death as if it happened recently, even though it may have been months or years.

• Engaging in risky behavior

A common unhealthy coping method is to engage in risky behavior such as excessive drinking, consuming drugs, becoming physically violent and aggressive, acting out sexually, etc. These types of behavior, if not treated, can damage the person in the long run.

• Becoming depressed or anxious or both

Being sad about the loss of a loved one is normal, even if it’s been some time since the death. However, there is a huge difference between being sad and being depressed. If the person is continuously moody, anxious, cries excessively and is unable to go about with his or her daily life, it is definitely a sign of depression.

• Significant changes in personality

Someone who is mourning may undergo significant changes in personality if he or she does not cope in a healthy manner. For example, they may overeat or stop eating, become extremely moody, etc. In other words, they often become someone they weren’t before they lost that person.

Any person exhibiting these characteristics may need to seek professional help. Encourage them.

Thanks for reading,

Karen

It is often said that where words are not enough, you can turn to rituals. This is perhaps most true when it comes to the loss of a loved one. Death is something no one is prepared to face and no one can get used to, and coming to terms with it can be extremely difficult. Death is much more than sudden absence, it is about losing a bond--losing a presence. It’s losing a loved one, and it is never easy.

Rituals like funeral services can help us cope with this grief in more ways than we may understand. Below are the different ways funeral services aid us in the mourning process of death, and perhaps, help us learn to let go.

• Funeral services help you accept the reality of loss

One of the most difficult aspects of someone’s death is actually acknowledging it. It may seem quite simple, but anyone who had experienced it will understand just how confusing and difficult it can be. A funeral service provides a physical, tangible time and space of departure, making it easier to say goodbye.

• Funeral services help you celebrate the life lived

Funeral services are an opportunity to remember the person who has died, and celebrate the life he/she has lived. It is a time to bring back fond memories, so you can keep them in your hearts forever in the way they would want to be remembered.

• Funeral services help you to express grief

Another benefit of funeral services is that they allow us to openly express our grief and mourn the loss of our loved ones. Grieving is an important process that can help us to accept and understand the reality of death.

• Funeral services help you to receive support

Funeral services bring family and friends together in one place, allowing you to lean on each other for much needed emotional support during hard times. Hearing comforting words from others, even just their presence, makes the journey easier.

Thanks for reading,

Karen